Welcome to politics.co.uk's As-It-Happens page. Here you can keep up to date with major parliamentary debates, press conferences or news events in real time. Just hit refresh on your browser to see the latest development.This event is now over, but you can see how it happened below. Nick Clegg walks on stage to considerable applause, but than you'd expect as the leader of a party at your own conference. Bear in mind Liberal Democrats are wise and unexcitable people, not given to euphoria or delirium. He begins by talking about what things were like a year ago. Gordon was popular, and no-one knew what a clever bloke Vince Cable was, apparently. Somethings have changed, it's true, but one wonders just how much of an impact Mr Cable has had outside Westminster. I wouldn't know. I don't have those kinds of friends. First joke of the night: Labour is a "zombie government, a cross between Shaun of the Dead and I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue." How funny is that, really? Personally, I smirked. You're going to want more than that. Joke two: "Cameron's only aim was to make the Conservatives inoffensive. Problem is, once you strip out the offensive parts of the Conservative party, there isn't much left." It doesn't look like there's a tele-prompter, although it's hard to tell from here. Half of politics.co.uk is in the auditorium, where there's no wi-fi, while the other half is watching it from outside where there is. From here, it appears he's memorised the whole thing - impressive, although, frankly, I remember doing a similar job last year for David Cameron's speech and despite the fact I didn't believe a word he said, I couldn't win the fight against the gravity of his friendliness. Clegg on the other hand, seems competent, managerial, but gives no hint of ever having bowled anyone over, apart from, one can only presume, his wife. Joke three: "Cameron's hope is to become the Andrex puppy of British politics. A cuddly symbol, perhaps, but fundamentally irrelevant to the product he's promoting." We're now onto pretty serious territory, rather suddenly. "My basic view of human nature is that people are born with goodness in them. Of course, people can be selfish, cruel or violent – but I believe no-one starts that way. There is a terrible pessimism in the way Gordon Brown thinks we should all be organised from above, our every move controlled by the great puppet master in the sky. And there's pessimism too from David Cameron when he says that if you're overweight, vulnerable or poor, you're on your own." I'm convinced there's a teleprompter around so clever and little I can't spot it (it probably doesn't have to be that clever or that little to fool me). It's mainly because Clegg doesn't really move anywhere. There's a peculiar, soft-focus national socialism effect to the symmetry of his shape on stage. Standing bolt upright, dead in the centre, backlit by his own image, so that everything balances. Occasionally, he sort of judders. He never takes a single step anywhere, but he does sort of turn left and right (ho ho ho) and then judder a little. It's not as bad as it sounds, but, as before, it never rises above competent. He's now onto justifying the tax cuts - selling them from a staunchly left wing perspective. "I was talking to a pensioner recently - Joan. I could see the anxiety on her face. She was one of the million people who lost out from the 10p tax rate even after the so-called compensation package, struggling to pay every bill that comes through the door, worrying about getting through the winter. If you were Joan, what would you want? Your money spent on a management consultant's advice on a government IT project that will never work? Or your money handed back to you?" In fact, you'd be hard pushed to find a more left-wing speech from any of the main party leaders. Whether it's to cover his behind as he makes his tax cutting moves, or because he seriously believes it, there's some populist left-wing stuff going on here. A sample: "The very wealthy, the super-rich – should be paying more not less." "We'll ensure everyone makes a fair contribution – polluters, fat cats and non-doms included." "Under Gordon Brown tax has become voluntary for the super-rich and for giant multinational companies." He's also just made my eyes water with a fascinating little fact. Apparently, the government spends £18,000 a second. "They've taken, give or take a few, £16 million of your money since I started speaking. It'll be £38 million by the time I’ve finished." I wouldn't want to be too generous, but my emotional reaction to all that was precisely the one he wanted me to have. Like a child becoming more confident in the water, he's starting to take little baby steps around the stage now. The audience is warming to him as well. "No Kingnorth power station - no Heathrow expansion." They meet all this with decent sized cheers - for Liberals. He's making a pretty good job of linking environmentalism with an ethical foreign policy, saying we can't stand up to people like Russia or countries in the Middle East (for that read Saudi Arabia) because of energy dependence. It's a good, valid argument, made recently by Obama during his acceptance speech at the Democrat convention. Thinking about Obama's speech kind of deadens your appreciation for Clegg's. I won't do that again. It pays to maintain interest, sometimes literally. Joke four: "There was a great story I heard recently about a little girl, doing a painting in class. The teacher comes over and says – what are you painting? And the girl says – God. So the teacher says – but no-one one knows what God looks like. The girl says – they will in a minute." Don't ask me the connection - it's basically all about how much Clegg loves children, and how much Gordon Brown is ruining their precious souls, but the audience take to it well enough. Apparently the Lib Dems want to make education 'people shaped'. I have no idea either. We're onto surveillance now, tracking chips in bins - that sort of thing. "They have taken our liberty from us and given us nothing in return," he says. His solution is to let communities "decide what's right for them and do it". I'm never quite sure what that sort of thing means in practise, but leader's speeches aren't Q&A sessions. It goes down OK with the audience, although I can only repeat - there doesn't appear to be much Bacchic political frenzy going on. Liberal Democrats, yes, but you'd still expect something more substantial than this. Another interesting fact: "In 2001 for the first time ever, more people didn't vote than voted for the winning party." An unpleasant little fact and I'm glad I know it. We're now onto that interminable section of a Lib Dem leader's speech in which he insists to his audience the party is heading for government. Yes, you think. Or on the other hand, perhaps not. "We can do it, because we are the vanguard of British politics," he says. It's like some weird netherworld of imagination the yellow people occasionally forage into and every time they do, you think: Come now. Stop being silly. We're well into the dramatic climax now: "Remember 1997? Things can only get better? We were told our country would be a success – and no-one would be left behind. It didn't happen. New Labour failed. But there is a new, New Labour on the block. Blue Labour: the Conservative party. Let our country not be fooled again. If you were drawn to Labour in the 1990s because you believed in a better future, because you were filled with hope that things would get better - join us. We are the ones who can make it happen. Labour is finished. It's over. The Liberal Democrats are now the only party that can deliver social justice. The Liberal Democrats. Join us, and make it happen." The section about social justice receives the warmest, most sustained applause of the night. It's the one moment the audience is well and truly with him, and it sort of took my by surprise. It also highlights the slightly - and I don't want to take this too far - lacklustre response of the audience. Be that as it may, they are jumping to their feet right now, clapping away furiously, giving him an extended standing ovation. There are no leadership issues flying around, so the duration of the ovation is irrelevant. I certainly don't intend to count. It was very well written speech - not as funny as whoever wrote it assumed - but full of interesting facts and imaginative intertwining of ideas and politics. Mr Clegg, competent but short of remarkable, can come away from the conference happy with the majority of it. He may have gone a couple of facts wrong and lost media attention to financial and Labour leadership stories but he has made the first successful steps in marking out a different political direction to the other main parties. Talking about tax cuts in definitively left-wing terms is not something you usually consider. It's a high risk strategy, but then his predecessors did worst when they failed to be gutsy and did best – think Kennedy and Iraq - when they took the plunge. He has every right to a minor spring in his step on his way back to London.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Clegg speech as-it-happened
Welcome to politics.co.uk's As-It-Happens page. Here you can keep up to date with major parliamentary debates, press conferences or news events in real time. Just hit refresh on your browser to see the latest development.This event is now over, but you can see how it happened below. Nick Clegg walks on stage to considerable applause, but than you'd expect as the leader of a party at your own conference. Bear in mind Liberal Democrats are wise and unexcitable people, not given to euphoria or delirium. He begins by talking about what things were like a year ago. Gordon was popular, and no-one knew what a clever bloke Vince Cable was, apparently. Somethings have changed, it's true, but one wonders just how much of an impact Mr Cable has had outside Westminster. I wouldn't know. I don't have those kinds of friends. First joke of the night: Labour is a "zombie government, a cross between Shaun of the Dead and I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue." How funny is that, really? Personally, I smirked. You're going to want more than that. Joke two: "Cameron's only aim was to make the Conservatives inoffensive. Problem is, once you strip out the offensive parts of the Conservative party, there isn't much left." It doesn't look like there's a tele-prompter, although it's hard to tell from here. Half of politics.co.uk is in the auditorium, where there's no wi-fi, while the other half is watching it from outside where there is. From here, it appears he's memorised the whole thing - impressive, although, frankly, I remember doing a similar job last year for David Cameron's speech and despite the fact I didn't believe a word he said, I couldn't win the fight against the gravity of his friendliness. Clegg on the other hand, seems competent, managerial, but gives no hint of ever having bowled anyone over, apart from, one can only presume, his wife. Joke three: "Cameron's hope is to become the Andrex puppy of British politics. A cuddly symbol, perhaps, but fundamentally irrelevant to the product he's promoting." We're now onto pretty serious territory, rather suddenly. "My basic view of human nature is that people are born with goodness in them. Of course, people can be selfish, cruel or violent – but I believe no-one starts that way. There is a terrible pessimism in the way Gordon Brown thinks we should all be organised from above, our every move controlled by the great puppet master in the sky. And there's pessimism too from David Cameron when he says that if you're overweight, vulnerable or poor, you're on your own." I'm convinced there's a teleprompter around so clever and little I can't spot it (it probably doesn't have to be that clever or that little to fool me). It's mainly because Clegg doesn't really move anywhere. There's a peculiar, soft-focus national socialism effect to the symmetry of his shape on stage. Standing bolt upright, dead in the centre, backlit by his own image, so that everything balances. Occasionally, he sort of judders. He never takes a single step anywhere, but he does sort of turn left and right (ho ho ho) and then judder a little. It's not as bad as it sounds, but, as before, it never rises above competent. He's now onto justifying the tax cuts - selling them from a staunchly left wing perspective. "I was talking to a pensioner recently - Joan. I could see the anxiety on her face. She was one of the million people who lost out from the 10p tax rate even after the so-called compensation package, struggling to pay every bill that comes through the door, worrying about getting through the winter. If you were Joan, what would you want? Your money spent on a management consultant's advice on a government IT project that will never work? Or your money handed back to you?" In fact, you'd be hard pushed to find a more left-wing speech from any of the main party leaders. Whether it's to cover his behind as he makes his tax cutting moves, or because he seriously believes it, there's some populist left-wing stuff going on here. A sample: "The very wealthy, the super-rich – should be paying more not less." "We'll ensure everyone makes a fair contribution – polluters, fat cats and non-doms included." "Under Gordon Brown tax has become voluntary for the super-rich and for giant multinational companies." He's also just made my eyes water with a fascinating little fact. Apparently, the government spends £18,000 a second. "They've taken, give or take a few, £16 million of your money since I started speaking. It'll be £38 million by the time I’ve finished." I wouldn't want to be too generous, but my emotional reaction to all that was precisely the one he wanted me to have. Like a child becoming more confident in the water, he's starting to take little baby steps around the stage now. The audience is warming to him as well. "No Kingnorth power station - no Heathrow expansion." They meet all this with decent sized cheers - for Liberals. He's making a pretty good job of linking environmentalism with an ethical foreign policy, saying we can't stand up to people like Russia or countries in the Middle East (for that read Saudi Arabia) because of energy dependence. It's a good, valid argument, made recently by Obama during his acceptance speech at the Democrat convention. Thinking about Obama's speech kind of deadens your appreciation for Clegg's. I won't do that again. It pays to maintain interest, sometimes literally. Joke four: "There was a great story I heard recently about a little girl, doing a painting in class. The teacher comes over and says – what are you painting? And the girl says – God. So the teacher says – but no-one one knows what God looks like. The girl says – they will in a minute." Don't ask me the connection - it's basically all about how much Clegg loves children, and how much Gordon Brown is ruining their precious souls, but the audience take to it well enough. Apparently the Lib Dems want to make education 'people shaped'. I have no idea either. We're onto surveillance now, tracking chips in bins - that sort of thing. "They have taken our liberty from us and given us nothing in return," he says. His solution is to let communities "decide what's right for them and do it". I'm never quite sure what that sort of thing means in practise, but leader's speeches aren't Q&A sessions. It goes down OK with the audience, although I can only repeat - there doesn't appear to be much Bacchic political frenzy going on. Liberal Democrats, yes, but you'd still expect something more substantial than this. Another interesting fact: "In 2001 for the first time ever, more people didn't vote than voted for the winning party." An unpleasant little fact and I'm glad I know it. We're now onto that interminable section of a Lib Dem leader's speech in which he insists to his audience the party is heading for government. Yes, you think. Or on the other hand, perhaps not. "We can do it, because we are the vanguard of British politics," he says. It's like some weird netherworld of imagination the yellow people occasionally forage into and every time they do, you think: Come now. Stop being silly. We're well into the dramatic climax now: "Remember 1997? Things can only get better? We were told our country would be a success – and no-one would be left behind. It didn't happen. New Labour failed. But there is a new, New Labour on the block. Blue Labour: the Conservative party. Let our country not be fooled again. If you were drawn to Labour in the 1990s because you believed in a better future, because you were filled with hope that things would get better - join us. We are the ones who can make it happen. Labour is finished. It's over. The Liberal Democrats are now the only party that can deliver social justice. The Liberal Democrats. Join us, and make it happen." The section about social justice receives the warmest, most sustained applause of the night. It's the one moment the audience is well and truly with him, and it sort of took my by surprise. It also highlights the slightly - and I don't want to take this too far - lacklustre response of the audience. Be that as it may, they are jumping to their feet right now, clapping away furiously, giving him an extended standing ovation. There are no leadership issues flying around, so the duration of the ovation is irrelevant. I certainly don't intend to count. It was very well written speech - not as funny as whoever wrote it assumed - but full of interesting facts and imaginative intertwining of ideas and politics. Mr Clegg, competent but short of remarkable, can come away from the conference happy with the majority of it. He may have gone a couple of facts wrong and lost media attention to financial and Labour leadership stories but he has made the first successful steps in marking out a different political direction to the other main parties. Talking about tax cuts in definitively left-wing terms is not something you usually consider. It's a high risk strategy, but then his predecessors did worst when they failed to be gutsy and did best – think Kennedy and Iraq - when they took the plunge. He has every right to a minor spring in his step on his way back to London.
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